BRIDGE TRADE HAS CEASED
Authorities have promised that shipments of vegetables and meat will revive shortly, but an "O" Courant investigation has revealed that trade has utterly stopped over the Britannia Bridge. It is difficult to obtain explanations why, but there is some evidence that Wellington Wells no longer has anything that the few remaining farmers on the outskirts of the former suburbs want. This reporter found a note from one would-be outside trader: "You're bonkers. I offered to trade a cow for a silk parachute to make a tent, but you gave me a fancy silk suit instead. How the [expletive deleted] do I make a roof out of that [insults deleted]?"
A survey of the Village's food gardens reveals that almost all are growing ornamental flowers. It is unclear if there is any food coming into Wellington Wells at all, which means that the food supply will soon, inevitably (continued on page 3)