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JOY QUALITY PLUNGING

Since 1951, citizens of Wellington Wells have relied on Haworth Labs' Joy to avoid melancholy. Recently, however, the Joy coming out of Haworth Labs appears to have plunged in quality. Some of it is weak. Some of it has peculiar effects, causing some citizens to find they can no longer take Joy, and become Downers against their will.

If you feel like you might possibly have fewer neighbours, you may be right. The Garden District population has swelled. Several proper citizens reporting odd side-effects from Joy have received letters inviting them to take part in a clinical study at Haworth Labs; none of them have been seen since.

Years ago, Harry Haworth cautioned that the village would eventually run out of the raw chemical stocks needed to create Joy; these stocks were left by the Germans after the Victory. (Concerning the nature of the Victory, see "Victory?" on page 8.) A special "O" Courant investigation reveals that Haworth Labs has now exhausted its supplies of these stocks. Currently Joy appears to be made using substitute ingredients derived from local plants and fauna.

There are rumours that Dr. Verloc has a "permanent solution" in the works. He refuses to discuss what this might be, but in any event, his credibility is roughly (continued on page 2)

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