The Parade District, or The Parade, is a district in Wellington Wells.
It's the last location that Arthur and Ollie visits in their respective Acts. It's the administrative center of the city and houses the Executive Committee, the Broadcast Tower and the Britannia Bridge; the only bridge linking to the mainland, Great Britain.
The layout of the Parade District is fixed, meaning it will always generate the same way on every playthrough.
- The Circus
- The Gravel Walk
- Lansdown Road
- Olde Town
- The Parade
- Trim Street
- Upper Borough Walls
Designed to feel regal and imposing, the Parade District consists of cold, serious yet grand non-interactive buildings made out of stone. It's the richest and most technologically advanced area in Wellington Wells.
The Parade District is composed of wide roads flanked by tall, grand and imposing buildings. There are no side-alleys like in Hamlyn Village to duck into and, as such, there's little to no hiding spots available.
Beneath the Broadcast Tower, lies the remains of the old train station, which itself leads to the Britannia Bridge. However, the exit is in disrepair and the interior parts of the station are literally falling apart due to motilene mining under the city, which has almost destroyed the main exit back to mainland Britain. This leads to the Britannia Bridge itself, the final obstacle that must be crossed in order to exit Wellington Wells.
The Parade District is where the upper-class Wellies live. They're all dressed finely in proper clothes.
The only Wellie types present in the district are the Bureaucrats/Administratorsand Maintenance Workers.
Unlike Hamlyn Village, the Parade District has both regular Bobbies as well as Red Bobbies, the Red Bobbies tend to be stationed at the locked gates present throughout the terrain.
It's well advised to stay on the safe side and not get the attention of them, as they can easily take down the player.
Like in St. George's Holm, Joy Doctors will walk by the streets, smelling if the player is or is not on Joy. There's not that many of them present, so avoiding them is easy.
The streets will be raided by hoards of Plague Wastrels, but only in Act lll, attacking anyone they come across.
It's recommended to have a heavy weapon in hand to deal with them. If they are attacked, Wellies won't react to the player's actions.
Given the Parade District's importance and the need to defend it, all Wellies and Bobbies here are heavily armed with The "Pipe Down"/"Spitfire", Axes, The "No Questions Axe", The "Winning Argument" and more. This makes combat very dangerous in this area if the player is unprepared.
In order to conform in this district, the player must wear one of the following outfits:
Wearing anything else will raise suspicion from NPCs and cause them to become hostile. Given that the Parade District has a strict dress code, this happens much faster.
Calendar of Events
- "The Parade District hosts a brisk schedule of events that are sure to delight! The island is easily accessible, and events are open to all."
- — How to be Happy: Guide Book.
- January.....New Year's Pajama Parade
- February.....Minor Royalty Coronations
- March.....Kilts Parade and Acottish Dancing
- April.....Old Possum's Cat Costume Competition
- May.....May Pole and Summerisle Weenie Roast
- June.....Gemini Twins Parade
- July.....Lawn Tennis Championships
- August.....Uncle Jack Lookalike Parade
- September.....Scone Festival
- October.....Jack-O-Lantern Parade
- November.....Baker Street Mystery Theatre
- December.....Sit on Santa Jack's Lap!
- Sally never enters the Parade District.
- Interestingly, the Parade District is still present on the map.
- There are various deep holes that lead to the ocean underneath in place of the departments. This excludes the Broadcast Tower, that can still be seen in the distance.
- There are no NPCs in the area.
- The Parade District is the only district that does not generate in Survival Mode.
- There are no side quests in the Parade District, apart from unlocking the hatch.
- The market is always open for the player to purchase from, even during the night.
- There's a cheeky easter egg of two white versions of the taxidermied dog having intercourse.
- In the How to be Happy: Guide Book, its stated that many of the building date back to the Victorian Era.
- The same is said in the book, The Art of We Happy Few, though it also notes that the architecture is a mix of Victorian and Georgian buildings, along with show-off Brutalist buildings.
- It's possible that many of the departments were originally Art Deco buildings later repurposed into something more useful.
- The Parade District is modeled after Britain's posh, boulevards and large civic buildings, such as London.
- It also took inspiration from the London neighbourhoods Chelsea, Regeant Street, and Soho.
- It is suggested that Arthur is on the richer side of the Wellies, given that he worked in the Parade District. Though he still lived in St. George's Holm, as suggested in his in-game description for the Quest, Letter of Transit.
- As stated in The Art of We Happy Few, the giant statue of a Bulldog (Britain's unofficial national animal) biting the Emperor Eagle (Germany's national animal) is titled "Our Glorious Victory", and represents Great Britain's "defeat" over Germany. It's a symbolic monument to Wellington Wells' denial of their subjugation under the Germans.