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PROPER USE OF JUBILATORS

To: All Employees
From: Penelope Snug, Supervisor

Please note that the PROPER FUNCTION of a Jubilator is:

1.   to dispose of Downers who have gone on holiday in public, and
2.   to diffuse airborne Joy to citiizens who may have forgotten to take their pills.

A Jubilator is NOT a mechanical "steed" for jousting and betting! We are becoming quite shorthanded as a result of this tomfoolery, since the cockpit burns up when the Jubilator smashes another. They are almost invincible (except for the electrical issue we are working on) but even a rock can be broken by another rock.

It has further come to my attention that certain employees attempted to sabotage Jubilators to gain advantage in illicit competitions. Perpertrators will be caught, and damage will be docked from their pay!

- Penelope

P.S. Kindly do not sound the tootlers indoors. It alarms the secretaries.

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