TO: All Workers
FROM: Dickie Bow, Manager
I'm sure you all find this Bolshevik banging on thrilling, but it's taking time away from yours duties, requiring even more overtime to make quota. Scargill Quality Control tell me your gas masks are quite sufficient. There is therefore no danger in using them on longer shifts. Kindly get back to work, unless you malingering Reds want to experience doing any further banging on at home.