Golden Oldies is a Story Quest in the Lightbearer DLC. It is encountered after Nick travels through the trash shute.


In-Game DescriptionEdit

Must head home, change into some clean, non-blood-soaked duds, and pop a few Sally Specials. Then I'll feel myself again.

Things are sure to look up once I'm not soaked in hemoglobin.

Where did I leave my Sally Specials? They always clear my head

Not the drugs I'm looking for, but what's the worst that could happen?

If one pill makes you small, then perhaps another pill makes you larger. Worth a try.

She always knows how to make me feel small. Make it stop!

Those drugs made me... see things. I wouldn't have hurt the real Petunia! Would I? Oh, I need to get out of this place!


Head to the left side of the back alley, be aware of the three fans coming up ahead. Continue further down the alleyway, Nick will find a couple of Bobbies holding back fans, telling Nick to continue down the alleyway as they can't hold back the fans much longer.

Heading down the back alleyway to the right will lead Nick straight to two paparazzis, they will hit and attempt to blind the player using their cameras, the player can Serenade them to briefly stop them from attacking the player. Search the postboxes to get notes.

Continue down the alleyway and eventually the player will end up at Nick's Pad, with gifts and other items around the outside, there's also two maintenance workers bowing down to a golden Nick statue right next to the front door.

When venturing inside, the intercom will reveal that Nick's home is actually a museum replicating Nick's actual house. Head up the two flights of stairs and retrieve the Golden Records, the player has to press the F button to use the records as a ranged weapon to fire at far away buttons or yellow objects to bounce them to other places.

Continue into the next room and retrieve Nick's Fab Threads, after this, head back downstairs to the bathroom where Nick has his secret stash of drugs. After taking one of the pills, he encounters his ex-wife, Petunia Penny, who says she made the museum to get something out of the marriage, taunting him about him wanting his fans to know the 'real' Nick.

After this, Nick will turn small thanks to the pills he took. Go down a level and bounce off the yellow Rubber Duckie in the bathtub. Use the golden records on the red button above the radiator to turn it off, walk across the radiator and onto the sink, climb up the wall-mounted shelves until Nick reaches the ceiling, from there the player will have to balance off a clothing line to a vent on the other side.

Nick will end up in his living room on the other side of the vent system, fall down to the wall-mounted shelf to the left and jump onto the yellow pillow below. Climb up the amps stacked up to the right and jump across to the shelf with a bowl of red and yellow pills. Nick will take a pill from the bowl, though he will fall from the shelf before being able to consume the pill thanks to a mysterious force, Petunia will walk over to Nick and pick him up before throwing him across the room.

Run across the board and get inside of the vent, Nick will now end up in the kitchen, go to the right and fall down on the shelf below, then jump across to the yellow drum. Climb up the boxes and up the shelves to avoid the dangers below, climb up the magazines and up the shelves, then jump over to the table with a bowl with pills inside.

Nick will now enter a fight with Petunia. The player will have to throw the golden records towards her red eyes to damage her, while also popping her electrical bubbles that home in on the player. When Petunia is defeated, it's revealed she was a Compliment Machine the whole time. This ends the quest.


Notes that the player will gather Edit


A Strange Fan Letter

Pickles vs. Pickles

Morrie Dislikes You


  • Golden Oldie is the term used for an old song or film that is still well known and popular. A similarly named quest is found in the main campaign.
  • In Nick's Pad, there are vinyls of songs that he and The Make Believes made together, but doesn't play anywhere in the game.
    • Open My Eyes (But Not Too Much)
    • Girl, You Are My Joy
    • Open Wide (And Take Your Joy)
    • Have You Met Miss Boyle?
  • The buttons will play a short riff of I Have Seen Everything when it's pressed.
  • The way to Nick's bedroom is blocked off, though by using Console Commands it's revealed that the area used to be available. This can be assumed as there is a sign saying "Sleep in Nick's bed!"

Gallery Edit

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