Funeral Notes for Apprentice Undertaker
Please take extra care with seating arrangements!
All of the deceaced's relatives insist that they be seated in the front row, so as to ensure the deceaced is not buried with anything of material value ("Ashes to Ashes" his daughter Regina says, "The bible doesn't say anything about being buried with gold watches.")
However, most of family members are not speaking to one another and refuse to be seated together. You must manage somehow. Perhaps arrange the chairs in a large circle, with plenty of space in between, so that everyone can feel he is in the front row?
IMPORTANT: On no account is the deceaced's brother Edward to be allowed at the funeral.