Constable Cozans is the records officer of the Wellington Wells Constabulary. He prides himself over his work, alphabetising all of Wellington Well's addresses. When Arthur asks where Dr Faraday has been relocated, Cozans says he can't tell him because Arthur's not a constable. He asks if he needs anyone else he'd like to not tell you the address. Arthur sarcastically remarks "Your very helpful." Cozans replies "That's what everyone says". He mentions he used to patrol the streets, until he made one mistake. Cozans ends his speech saying "He was breathing when I left him".
- Constable Cozans clearly doesn't understand sarcasm.