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Mr.Lightbearer,

At the Avalon, we pride ourselves on our discretionand our tradition of creating a carefree environment for our guests, particularly those in the arts. However, certain behavioural norms and standards needs must apply to ensure a comfortable environment for all of our clientele.

In the past 24 hours, we have recieved a number of concerned inquiries from other guests regarding 

episodes of loud screaming alternating with fits of hysterical laughter emanating from the area of your suite.

We also hesitate to bring up the issue of your bill. At present, the room service total has grown unweildy whilst both you and your record company insist that the other is responsible for the bill. And then, of course, is the damage fees (including musch despoiled linen, at least three shattered porcelain toilets, a good deal of highly compromised carpeting, and an elevator car which has been deemed a public health nuisance).

As such, we must respectfully ask that you cease from the above-mentioned activities and settle your total post-haste.

Cordially,

The Management

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